The King and I (1999)

Directed by Richard Rich; Voices include Miranda Richardson, Martin Vidnovic, Ian Richardson, Alan Hong, Adam Wylie, and Armi Arabe

I know that I said something about recommended films a minute ago, trust me this is not one of them. Like most avid film fans, I happen to enjoy the original Rogers and Hammerstein musical The King & I from 1956, and I somewhat liked the 1946 film Anna and the King of Siam (which was a much more dramatic version than the musical). This little animated version puts the story to shame. In fact the only reason why I deemed this deserving of above a F rating is that it still retains the songs from the original stage play. Anna and her exploits with the King of Siam have become kiddy fodder that comes off like Rock-a-Doodle. The film goes as far as adding a Siamese idiot character, a baby elephant (sarcastic “awww”), and a smart monkey (can we say Disney?). This film lowers even furthur by attempting to teach children the importance of good dental hygiene and karate expertise. Remember the sub-plot of the two star-crossed lover? Gone. Instead there is the half-baked story of the Prince (about 12 in the original, 25 in this) falling in love with the slave maiden. I hate to give away too much, but I’ll even say that it ends differently (too scary for small children I guess). Even if you thought the monkey was not absurd enough, the kindly prime minister in the original is now an evil sorcerer. This film can’t even pull off the presenting of the King’s children to Anna, which is my favorite scene when it was Deborah Kerr and Yul Brenner.

What makes me the saddest about this is that the once great Miranda Richardson has allowed herself to stoop this low (I’m hoping that her chidlren talked her into it or something). My philosophy is: when a cartoon has animation jumps (i.e. the missing appearance of cells) the cartoon is a lost cause.